#and i can remember it. honestly at this point im more mad about how my brain makes up the internal structure than i am dreaming it

[why-rock-look-tasty-if-no-eat]

I'm a mix of Damian and Tim. There has been times when I thought a good dream was an actual event that happened. Multiple times.

On the plus side I get free happy memories

(staying up>nightmares>working memory)

The batfam ranked on their ability to recall dreams - Least to Most

Damian - Doesn’t dream besides nightmares

Jason - also doesn’t really dream, mostly just replay of memories so technically higher then Damian

Dick - Mostly remembers the feeling of a dream rather then the dream itself whether good or bad

Cass - remembers the people in her dreams, but not what was happing

Steph - either can’t remember at all, or remembers nearly all of it

Duke - opposite of Cass, can remember most things except for faces

Bruce - Easy to recall nightmares, but similar to Dick can remember the feeling of good dreams

Tim - Dreams so vivid and realistic he just fully believes they’re actually memories. This has served as an issue

[mandarinmoons]

this has been making the rounds so i have to ask... could you do a quick blurb of reader with spencer during this interaction and they had been bickering before in the car (im sniffing enemies to lovers). once that guy says that she just BURSTS out laughing and can't stop even after spencer tells her to stop, but at this point tears are coming down her face. spencer wants to be mad (bc hello! enemies) but honestly he's just so down bad, he loves that this makes her smile/laugh. (woah that was cheesy, gonna go take a lactaid). thank youuuuu 💕😘

https://www.tumblr.com/tomcriuse/756127032794136576

I love your mind for this x

“You’re like a pipe cleaner with eyes. I could snap you like a twig.”

Spencer felt his eardrum possibly bursting due to the laugh that roared from your mouth. His eyebrows knitted in confusion as you hunched down, practically hugging your knees to your chest as you tried to calm down your breathing.

“It’s not that funny,” Spencer wanted to sound coarse, but he had a hard time hiding the slight chuckle that came from his mouth. He wanted to be annoyed, but a not so small part of his heart swelled with joy whenever he saw you laugh and to know that he was the one bringing out those happy tears, he was an overjoyed man indeed.

The man that had been questioned shut his door in confusion and Spencer grabbed your arms lightly to try and help you stand up. A second later you brushed his hands off and Spencer sighed on the inside as you two went back to the way things were before you started questioning the local.

Clearing your throat, you strode off to the car leaving Spencer looking at you as you walked off. His feelings were mixed up, just 10 minutes ago you two had been bickering over if Spencer had taken the right turn down the road or if he’d managed to make you both get lost (again) and now here he was, admiring the confident strut in your walk and remembering the little hairs that frame your face that you always pushed behind your ear that he found oh so adorable.

“Are you coming or not?”

Spencer snapped out of his thoughts when he heard you call out for him. What was a beautiful smile adoring your face had now turned into a tight lipped, and dare he say, annoyed stare. How your emotions managed to change so quickly was beyond him, but he nodded and jogged his way to you to keep up.

What felt like an eternity of silence, Spencer’s ears perked up when he heard a light chuckle coming out of your mouth.

“The rest of the team is so going to hear about this.”

“Y/N, c’mon now, it’s not that funny.”

“Is it not, pipe cleaner?”

Spencer felt his blood boiling, but he instantly cooled down when he saw your smile return and more giggles come out of your mouth. Suddenly all the anger he had felt the entire day had disappeared and it was all thanks to the sound of your laughter and the sweet smell of your perfume, which the scent of seemed to have an even tighter hold on him with every inch he got closer to you.

Whether he liked it or not (but internally he loved it) your perfume had lightly gotten on his hands as he tried to help you up and as he laid in bed late at night, even with washing his hands as thoroughly as he always does, the scent still lingered on his skin and he fell asleep with you in his thoughts and (finally) in his dreams.

Taglist: @radioactiveinvisible @whoisspence @sreidisms @lanascinnamongirls @luvkatryna @sp3ncelle @iluvreid @khxna @keiva1000 @reidstheyfriend @hiireadstuff @pleasantwitchgarden @cynbx @kimm4710 @niktwazny303 @reidsdaisies @mindfullycriminal @cumulo-stratus @gayfor-rosadiaz @gubsbuubs @multifandomsimp69 @chyozai @deppfanatic @potatovoyager @indyvelazquez @nini123 @justlivinginadaydream @kers505 @dan-the-womans-blog

Notice: I am no longer adding people into my taglist and will be discontinuing it soon so if you'd like to be kept up to date with my future works then please follow me x

You can find my masterlist here!

Let me know your thoughts in the comments and like & reblog to support <3

[genericpuff]

I know LO has been over for a while but something that's always confused me is the 10 year punishment thing. (I dropped the comic before the judgment so correct me if im wrong)

apparently Persephone was sentenced to 10 years in the mortal realm. Yet she complains that Zeus keeps extending her punishment but the timeskip only ends up being 10 years? (From 20 yrs old to 30). that makes it sound like she had a shorter sentence that was extended to 10 yrs (what a fuckin slap on the wrist if it was).

Either her punishment was 10 yrs and Perse was just banking on early parole release or she always had a short sentence which ended up being a measly 10 yrs anyway.

But then that would mean Demeter's punishment period was either tied directly to Persephone's or (for some reason) she had a full 10 yr sentence while Persephone got an initial shorter period

If it's not either of those then shouldn't her punishment be longer? 11, 12, 15, 20 yrs instead? Would make more sense that she was mad if she had to serve at least twice as long as she was told to

Ah so actually she wasn't sentenced to 10 years, she was basically sentenced to a perpetual punishment until Zeus felt certain conditions were met, such as her filling all of the responsibilities of Demeter and turning Minthe back to normal.

So the reason it wound up being 10 years was because Zeus kept finding reasons to extend the sentencing, clearly in an attempt to keep her away from Apollo as he was already suspecting that he might use Persephone's fertility goddess powers to overthrow him.

(joke's on Zeus though, he was overthrown with a poison cupcake lmaooo)

That said, Persephone was... really dumb when she failed her 10th inspection. Primarily because she broke one of the rules Zeus put in place for her before he did the inspection-

Like it's really funny in hindsight to read this scene because at the time the narrative was definitely trying to make us believe that Zeus was the bad guy here, and to a point he's definitely fucking around and not actually planning on letting her out of confinement while also doing jack shit to get to the bottom of his own suspicions regarding his son... but also girl, if your plan was to prove to Zeus that you had filled your end of the bargain, then why try and give him the letter prior to your once-a-year inspection? Either you're failed again over some arbitrary made-up bullshit reason so you can use the guilt-trip method after he's already screwed you over, or best case, you pass and you can deliver the letter to Hades yourself! It was a really dumb move on her part to immediately jump to asking him to bend the rules he made for her when she should know Zeus isn't gonna feel obligated to 'owe' her anything, and is completely contrary to her being as "smart and cunning" as the narrative tries to make us believe (remember when she hustled Hades at chess and lied to him about having a driver's license? where's that Persephone?)

And yeah Zeus really isn't wrong when it comes to how Persephone herself is such a "uwu look at me I'm a smol widdle baby girl, please break the terms of my punishment for me because I asked with tented eyebrows bats eyelashes" , this is honestly why so many people like Zeus as a character in LO contrary to how much the narrative tries to make us hate him, because while he's absolutely an asshole who deserves to be knocked down a peg, at least the narrative doesn't try to gaslight us into thinking he's a good person like it does with H x P. Zeus is a shithead but unapologetically authentic; Persephone and Hades both pretend like they're saints on earth (and the narrative tries to sell them to us as such) meanwhile they're constantly picking on lower class people and using their power and influence to get their way even when they haven't earned it.

But also yeah, it's funny how the fans will say "age doesn't matter when you're a god, time doesn't mean anything when you're immortal" to dismiss the massive age gap between Hades and Persephone, but then cry foul over Zeus keeping her in confinement for 10 years which is a pretty bare ass minimum sentence when you really think about it. Like, if the passage of time really is that inconsequential to a god, then how is 10 years even a punishment? It's only suddenly seen as a massively unfair punishment when it's Persephone who's suffering it.

[whiteeyes-is-a-mad-scientist]

stonemover

the upcoming dotw is stonemover

I honestly enjoy this dude and his character. I feel like he deserved some more understanding as if im remembering correctly (ignore me if im wrong im wanting to re read the books as it has been a while) dragons in the books always just saw him as this sad guy who was hopeless about everything. but like?? how would you feel if you had powers that slowly made you go mad as you use them and all these stories of animus's going wild and killing others after loosing their souls. I know I would feel hopeless and scared. Stonemover cursing himself to turn to stone was something he did so hed never hurt any dragons and in a way its one of the more noble animus enchantments. (which isnt like amazing but compared to some others its tame) that being said I can see the point that at some point you need to live your life and not be so worried about what might happen but still. idk lol I just think hes a fun character to examine.

anyways some other art, fun sandwing for a design fight and my half of a design trade^^

[thesimulacrasimp]

Okay, I literally just watched a spooky month short and i wanna kinda break it down a lil bit, cuz we learned ALOT through it. Again, sorry for my terrible english 😭🙏

Okay so in this shot we see Kevins parents (rlly cute) and we see "Rad's bday" on calendar (which is apparently in september, knowing that Kevin started working in candy club in the same month), that means that he knew Radford for a long time, even before he started working in candy club.

Okay, thats really funny, but when Skid and Pump appeared in this short with different masks i was like: "YOOO they finally revealed their hair styles. Wow these fan predictions were really close!" until i remembered that their hair styles were already revealed a long time ago in the house pictures.....

Okay so through Pump we now know that Skids father is dead. Not missing, not left - dead. <= another question that have been answered.

Lila looks so tired, poor soul (SHE EVEN WALKING IN THE STREETS IN SLIPPERS 😭)

Ok, now its my fav part. We saw all the moments w Skid and Pump in candy club. First part of it were just the moments that we have already seen or that have been mentioned (like when Skid n Pump got alot of fake blood in the place), there were also some others moments weve never seen, but i dont think theyre really important since they all happened before even eps 4 and 5, so i dont think i need to break them down (especially because of this stupid fuCKING PICTURE LIMIT—) BUT! The things i WANT TO talk about are all the things that happened after ep 6 - the things we still havent got to. And if its actually the foreshadowing (is that the right word for that?...) for what will happen in the future eps then its kinda a dissapointing cuz we got spoiled, and FUCKING AMAZING at the same time, like I have VERY mixed feelings about this, but i more like it than hate it tbh. SO im gonna break these things down like they are actual spoilers for future episodes, but that can be not true, who knows.

Okay, the first thing we see after ep 6 is another winter situation (the hole from Moloch is still there 😭) w hatzgang, Skid n Pump, and Susie, while the whole place was acreeting w some weird roots w eyes?? Then i suppose Roy was tormenting the poor kids as always, and Susie got mad at him and left, and then Rob and Ross did the same thing while Roy looked offended n pissed (which i cant show you becuz of a FUCKING LIMIT—)

Then, Lila, Jaune, John and Jack came to the candy club. I cant really tell what couldve happened, but Lila n Jaune looked really mad, and then STARTED ARGUE FOR SOME REASON, like I literally have no idea what couldve happened, it could be anything.

Then there was a literal fnf scene, like an actual rap battle between the spooky bois and bf (which i also cant show you, CAN U GUESS WHY?? :) ). I honestly think that this is a simple joke and nothing more, but who knows, maybe it will actually happen in spooky month, that would be pretty cool.

Okay, then the Spider. Like, we already all knew that its gonna be an episode vilian at some point, so its not really surprising honestly. Really curious how its gonna be portrated tho, like what is it gonna do, what its motives and goals are gonna be, what characterization are a LITERAL SPIDER gonna get - its all really interesting.

Then a cult. Also not really surprising tbh, like I think it was obvious that they were gonna get to Kev at some point, interesting why tho. Like how could he be useful or harmful for them? (interesting detail is that after a scene w the cultists Kevin still stayed in the club, so the cult tried to get him but failed? I wonder why and how.)

Okay... MOTHER. FUCKING. SKID'S DAD. HOLY SHIT IM SO EXCITED FOR HIM. If we look at the shot it seems like Skid came here to introduce Kevin to his dad (cute)

And then i suppose Dad got a candy bar for Skid and they both left. Really curious how is Skids dad gonna introduce himself to his son, how Skid is gonna react (well even by these 2 shots we can see that he is really happy, but im more curious about the first reactions, im in for some wholesome fluff please!!!). And Lilas reaction is also reaaaaaally interesting (if she will even know)

And the last shot is this. I also dont think it really means anything (maybe foreshadowing that Kev is gonna die??), the only thing that intrigues me is this sky, like I dont even know what it looks like, some sort of black hole? A fissure? Some ultimate evil that comes from another world? A 4th wall break?? Who fucking knows. But it does look interesting.

And soooo ummmmm idk what else to write, I think i already said everything i wanted to say so.. Bye? Tnx 4 reading?? Ig???

[kingdoms-and-empires]

Adoriel's Tears Review

I recently had to go travel and read a few works that I never got around to reading but was interested in.

PLEASE REMEMBER THIS REVIEW IS DONE BY ME AS A READER AND IS MY OWN OPINION.

This means I will review in accordance to my own tastes, how the game caters to me, and what I feel. Do not take my word as gospel, what I may not be interested in or dislike, may be what YOU are interested and love!!!

@adoriels-tears-if

Synopsis:

Adoriel's Tears are a gift.

A light offered to the inhabitants of Terrybiël to end the conflicts that oppress the Four Peoples and eradicate the evil that was crawling on the continent.

But every light has its shadow and sometimes gifts are poisonous. For if magic comes from the heart, it takes a soul to master it, and fortunate are those who manage to find it. Without a counterpart, without a familiar, a Tear is nothing.

Just a curse. A child of madness. The darkness on Terrybiël. What must be destroyed before they destroy you.

Adoriel's Tears are a gift. At least for the others.

You're long past the point where your heart and soul should be singing together, and yet you're gifted. That's what made you lose everything you had as a child. Now, an opportunity presents itself. Should you take it, is it the right thing to do?

Without a soul and with a magic you can't control, the journey will be a risky one.

Especially since the smell of madness and blood is getting heavier and heavier on Terrybiël. Will you be able to fix everything, to find what you're looking for? Nothing is less sure.

And yet, this voice is calling you, whispering:

Come ! Come to me ! Come to me and don't be afraid.

Review:

The Good: Tobias is Ken, do not fight me on this.

Also, i wasnt aware what Snow was until i looked it up:

SO FREAKING CUTE!

Anyways, I had a lot of fun with this one. It lures you into a false sense of security and wholesomeness only to abruptly show the player and MC the reality of the world. That their mother had been protecting them for a reason. The family dynamics, relationships between characters, and drama crafted got me in my feels enough to care! I also got to name my plushie rabbit Optimus Prime, which was fucking hilarious:

Also i had alot of fun with the parental drama the MC can have with their father

Ashleyn:

And with his fuckboi bros:

Adoriel's Tears does that thing really well, that thing that lets the reader fill in the blanks and make up their own assumptions for the characters until we actually meet them. Plus it lets us act out and be brats so we can break the hearts of all the adults around us that try their best!

Also there's moments like this:

That honestly just adds that bit of humor that works without cause friction for the rest of the tone.

There was also a specific passage that felt emotionally charged and intense. Youll know what im talking about once you reach it, because it is very memorable. Without spoiling, it feels like justice coming forth to smite those that have wronged you.

The Bad: I know that Chapter 1 is a transfer from the original Choicescript, and it shows. The author has already expressed wanting to polish and clean it up, which i think is the right step as the second chapter and onwards have a clear jump in quality. There were numerous spelling and grammatical errors, but given that chapter 1 is four years old, and that the author is not a native English speaker (is French) that can be excused and fixed. I was able to submit errors I came across, so the author will be able to fix what i found in a future update. I do recommend that those who play any IF out there to submit anything they find as authors need us to beta test! Their eyes literally begin to glaze over the words theyve seen for the thousandth time lol.

The Ugly: I encountered moments where the MC feels very sensitive and too friendly, or the opposite where the choices can give an extreme negative reaction in response. I'd like for the inclusion of a more middle ground MC. In addition to that, there where times where my immersion (self insert, remember) broke as my boy MC felt too "feminine" without letting us choose to act it or not. Idk how to describe it other than that lol, but it stood out to me.

The Aftermath: I would recommend this to anyone that wants a good family dynamic/drama, and if characters and their relationships with each other are important to you. There's a lot of promise, potential, and "oh shit" moments that can/will happen (18+ tag, remember?) that only leaves me wanting more. The worldbuilding done allows for some really gripping story telling, and from what we see so far, itll impact the story. Seriously, the worldbuilding here is unique, and WILL stand out as we keep seeing the same ole same ole elsewhere in this genre. It's a fantasy story that keeps itself grounded by using likable characters who have realistic flaws that provide entertainment for us.

[the-s1lly-corner]

Could you do the TADC cast x reader with a really heavy southern accent?

TADC cast x reader w/ a heavy southern accent!

hello i am back from my silly little lunch break i made a sandwich it was very yummy i need to find a new set of music to listen to while typing, as much as i love jack stauber i think im going to go insane if i hear baby hotline one more time... oddly enough not the first time that specific song has driven me nuts from being overplayed anyways idk side note idk what to do with gifs because i keep running out of TADC gifs and i got a reblog months back on a crp post that implies that gif makers get notified when you use their gifs?? is that true?? if so i am so so so sorry to the tadc gif makers TToTT also still gif related but i keep getting. jumpscared by butts n boobs anytime i open the gif thing i cannot keep doing this!!!!

CAINE:

i think he would find it pretty, like, i dont know how to explain it! i think he would possibly mimic some of your speech mannerisms. probably gives you a cowboy hat. i dont know what it is but i think southern accents, at least from what ive seen, is one of the most romanticized of american accents... maybe its the whole rugged cowboy thing thats commonly associated with it. what im trying to say that i think caine would romanticize it the same way, thanks to him not really having the experience of going out and interacting with people from the south

he finds the accent pretty

POMNI:

i dont think she would really notice it unless she is really trying to pay attention to what you say. but maybe thats just self projection because i myself dont really notice other peoples accents unless its very prominent, or they say something that sounds so different to how im used to hearing things. i feel it would be the same with pomni, but i dont think she would treat you any differently! wish i had more ideas but pomni and gangle are particularly hard for me to write for some reason

RAGATHA:

honestly i like to hc that she grew up in a southern small town before getting stuck in the digital world, but of course she wouldnt remember it... perhaps she would feel some sense of familiarity around you anyways, even if she cant pin down why.. i think that would be nice... she likes listening to you talk

JAX:

writing these out of order, but i think jax would be similar to caine in the regard that he would tease some of your speaking mannerisms. "yaint! yall'd've!" stuff like that... which... i can be mad about because im from the south and the two examples are in my vocabulary... hes not really saying anything thats incorrect, at least in my case

probably asks why your digital form isnt a cowboy, shit eating grin on his face

KINGER:

thinks it sounds nice! for once i dont have any ideas for kinger, which sucks because i love kinger TToTT

your words probably rub off on him, i can see him probably picking up on some of your terms n slang

kinger saying yall isnt real he cant hurt you

kinger saying yall:

ZOOBLE:

similar to pomni they dont notice until theyre forced to notice.. no but imagine your accent becomes more pronounced when you get mad, you start saying more stereotypically southern stuff that people associate. probably does a double take if you say a rather insane variant of 'yall' but otherwise doesnt see much point in pointing it out

GANGLE:

absolutely loves hearing you talk, similar to ragatha! while ragatha clings onto your words thanks to unknown familiarity, gangle just thinks your voice sounds like and soothing, comforting! i dont know what it is but hearing someone trying to comfort you with a heavy southern accent as well as using casual terms of endearment (whether you see this as romantic or platonic is up to you!) in this soft tender voice just always hits different for me. maybe i am guilty of also romanticizing southern accents

[wraitingtoyou]

Love at first fight

Alhaitham x gn!reader

The scribe's logic is simple, never fight with fools. You made him feel like the fool this time though.

Alhaitham's way of talking is smooth and sly not everyone can make out, he doesn't argue with idiotic logic instead, he uses that to manipulate his way into making them believe what he wants them to.

But he never met someone so dumb that he can neither win or lose in your fight at the library. It seems you were the type to drag both parties down.

"So what exactly gave you the thought that telling the sages closing down all artistic activities would be a great idea?" Your grip on the book you to cover half your face to conceal your lip bite of anger got tighter.

"A tactic? I can't tell you the exact details but actions speak louder than words is the answer"

You rested the book on his folded arms " You do see the look on my face right now do you?"

"yes I do"

You opened your eyes "what does it say?"

"That you're mad at me?" You started hitting his arm softly with the book continuously "Wrong". He raised an eyebrow.

You inhaled "it says that I KNEW I WAS STUPID BUT THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO ARE STUPIDER"

He was ???

You clenched your jaws " See I know you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover but I knew I had a bad feeling about you, and I've met you only today. Your alpha wannabe walk, your smooth way of talking, the way you indirectly shut sir Zakhir up as though you are more capable of being an instructor than him. Putting down my documents saying it'll be waste of energy AND THAT'S NOT EVEN THE REASON IM ANGRY"

Seriously? You're only wasting your breath now is what he thought. "See we both don't have much time we're busy people, these stupid squabbles will bring nothing but-"

You took one step forward and got very close to him "See my point is you make decisions and plans without thinking the chances and how it may affect others if it does not succeed. If I'm ever one of them who get involved in it" you pulled back your book that rested on his arm "I will hunt you and bury you, I don't even care if the akademiya will be after me Mr scribe, I see you with the divine knowledge. The bazaar has my eyes." With that you walked away huffing.

He was left speechless, was he supposed to be surprised? Threatened? Disrespected? He didn't know he was just drowning in the thought how you were so keen and gutsy despite having a clumsy and daydreaming behaviour. He felt that you may be an interesting person to get involved with for his future plans. Something that you just not so long ago told him not do.

It felt as if he judged you wrong. With that his judgement has never been wrong, to him atleast.

---

Legs on top of eachother and heartbeats colliding.

You heard him smirk, "What's making you so happy?" He smiled and replied "Nothing, I just got reminded of a time."

You eyed him suspiciously "what time huh?"

He smiled, a smile that speaks he's entertained and mocking someone "Remember the time you threatened to hunt and bury me?"

"uh.....ahhhh that, you were an asshole you deserved to be threatened." you rolled your eyes. He put his hand on your back and used the other to curl your hair "Would you now?"

You pulled his cheeks "If you dare to disturb my balance of life then why not." how do you even survive after doing and saying such things to Alhaitham was what always surprised Kaveh. Maybe Alhaitham just had double standards for some people.

"however from what I've realised you've come to love how I disturb your balance of life isn't it?" You shuffled and trapped him in your arms "Because you need to try more. The actual stage where you can actually destroy it."

He raised an eyebrow and gripped your wrists "Oh? so are you telling me I'm not perfect? Very gutsy of you."

You chuckled "Sometimes I realise the scribe may not be upto my standards honestly."

He closed his eyes and smiled "Ah yeah as you say dollface."

You were a brat, an asshole even. More than what Alhaitham was and that's what he failed to see.

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Shipper Tag Game

I was tagged in this game by @twig-tea, appreciate the tag but also bestie this is so many questions.

1. What ship were you completely obsessed with when you were a teenager, but now you don't care anymore?

Is this the part where I have to confess to being a superwholockian in my past? I no longer care about JohnLock or DeanCas, the evil is defeated!

2. Which ship would you consider your first one?

Oh it was almost certainly Beast Boy and Raven from Teen Titans

3. Your first fanfic belonged to which couple?

Magnus Bane x Alec Lightwood from Shadowhunters, I wrote a bunch of fanfics for them when I was younger. I did not anticipate how many views I would get on a couple of them, so that was cool! (shameless plug to check out my AO3 account, Sent2TheBeast. Unfortunately most of my fics are now locked due to how people feed content to AI software)

4. Do you remember the first couple you saw a fanart over?

Do I actually remember? No. Was it most likely something from Harry Potter or Supernatural? Yeah.

5. Did you ever get into ship discourse?

Baby, I write BL essays on tumblr, I think the minute I posted my first analysis I was signing up to ride the discourse wave.

6. Did you used to have any no-otp or have it currently?

Honestly any incestuous plot lines I am typically very against: Wincest, Brallie, etc.

7. Who were the couple in the last fanfic you read?

I read a beautifully written VegasPete fic by the wonderful @ginnymoonbeam

8. Currently, do you have any OTPs?

How much time do you have? Kurosawa x Adachi/Karan x Achi; Togawa x Nozue; Minoru x Yutaka; PatPran; MorkTawan; Han Baram x Im Hantae; Shin Ki Tae x Lee Wan; Kenji x Shiro; etc etc etc

9. Is there any couple that, to this day, you are extremely mad about not getting together?

Not that I can think of, but I will just give a generic shout out to all the queer baiting of old. BUT I DO HAVE COUPLES I AM EXTREMELY MAD ABOUT GETTING TOGETHER. AkkTheo and SandRay I am looking at you!!!

10. Is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they are kind of interesting?

I will give this one to @bengiyo. I was not a fan of Korn and Intouch from Until We Meet Again because of how one-sided the relationship seemed to me. But conversations with Ben gave me deeper insights in to Korn and have had me reconsidering my impression of that relationship.

11. Do you have any ship that, in the past, was considered normal but now you would be cancelled over?

Tony DiNozzo and Ziva David would almost certainly get me cancelled considering Ziva's service history in Israel. Glad I was able to free myself of the cop/military propaganda that is NCIS when I entered high school.

12. What was your favorite crack ship?

I don't really embrace the crack culture, I am not a huge fan of crack vids, crack fics, crack ships

13. Who is the couple you read more fanfics of?

Of all the couples I read fanfics for, I think Malec from Shadowhunters was probably my most frequently read.

14. What most of your ships usually have in common?

I feel like 99% of the ships that have wormed their way in to my brain to the point of obsession (aka me making fan art, writing fics, etc) lies in the complexity and opposition of character's to one another. For example:

In Shadowhunters, the tension between Magnus being a warlock and Alec being a Shadowhunter and how they navigate the fact that The Institute and his own family have caused and continue to cause active harm to Magnus and the other Downworlders.

In Six of Crows and Crooked Kingdom, the extremely contradictory nature of Kaz Brekker's existence and how that impacts his relationship with and to Inej. I wrote a number of Kanej fics because I could not stop thinking about the fact that Kaz and Inej want to touch each other, want to be intimate with each other, and their extensive trauma makes that damn near impossible.

In Pushing Daises, the inability to touch, the tension between loving someone so much and knowing that to touch them would be to kill them is just so fascinating.

In The Old Guard, Joe and Nicky having been together for 900 years when we meet them so you wouldn't think there is a complex tension there per say, but they were on opposite sides of The Crusades and had to work through that to cultivate a literally eternal love. And not just that (honestly less so that) but the tension between their line of work as mercenaries, their immortality, and knowing that one day, completely unannounced that immortality will stop. I could not stop thinking about how many times those two have had to watch each other die, waiting and wondering if their lover would come back to life this time around.

In Bad Buddy, Pat and Pran not only having to navigate their relationship with the incredibly antagonistic relationship between their parents but Pat having to parse through all these years of competition, hatred, fighting, to understand that all this time he's loved Pran.

gif by @barrowsteeth 15. What do you absolutely hate in a ship?

Lack of reciprocity. This is not to say the relationship has to be completely balanced. I don't think that it is a realistic possibility that every aspect of a romantic relationship exists in perfect harmony. But I've written about this before, my theory as to why so many BL boys get sick, in order to allow the person who has received more of the support throughout the show to care for their partner. I am a very outspoken Enchante anti because I hate Theo so fucking much. Theo's incompetency and Akk's incessant need to help him got Akk fired from his job, Theo lied about Enchante, and Theo moved back to France and made Akk work on his own to earn enough money for a motherfucking plane ticket to France. None of that being marketed as romantic is okay with me.

tagging: @emotionallychargedtowel, @neuroticbookworm, @telomeke, @negrowhat, and @solitaryandwandering

[milo-igidk]

Not me stalking your account simply by the fact that you say that rawest stuff about my fave character (Keefe) ummm anyways

I used to really hate Fitz for being mad at Keefe for joining the Neverseen and not really understanding his best friend, but a recent reread made me realize that Keefe leaving was SO much more startling for Fitz than Sophie or the reader. Sophie saw the small sighs really early on. I'd even argue that it was as early as Exile. The alicorn ride where he stopped joking for a moment to lay himself out a little? Then of course there's the whole thing with Keefe's mom "dying" and all that, but Fitz probably thought his cheery, happy-go-lucky friend would be okay. Those scenes leading up to Loadstar where you see Keefe's fear and anger? ONLY Sophie sees it. Suddenly Fitz sees his brother and best friend who seem really similar are now a part of the Neverseen? With SO little warning? Without what Sophie saw, I would feel betrayed and angry too. And how would Keefe feel? I bet he felt a lot more alone once he realized that he hid his pain so well that even his best friend didn't really know him.

Sorry, that wasn't really a question and was a bit long, but I thought I'd put it here in case you had some cool thoughts to add that I may have missed. :) (Since you're so good at it)

shxhjxjs omg thanks first of all im glad vdbdnx😭

and also yeees youre so right and i honestly hadnt rlly thought abt that

i feel like keefe and fitz have such an interesting dynamic and i hope shannon like makes them actually talk about shit instead of being like oh fitz is fine with everything now. bc yea fitz really doesnt know a lot of the things going on with keefe and like it goes to show how his demeanour totally changed in that one scene in lodestar when he saw the memories keefe was showing sophie.

honestly i am well over my 'hating fitz' phase that i feel like all kotlc fans have at some point, hes a great character but nooot that great of a friend to keefe? imo? idk i dont think its on purpose i just feel like, like you said, he sees this persona that keefe puts up and doesnt think to look any deeper, even after keefe came back from the neverseen like the only time hes hung out with keef that i can remember being mentioned is when he was looking for memories with cassius, when he was complaining abt sophie to him, or when he needed those drawings for sophies gift. and again its not that much his fault, he just assumes everything is fine and also has his own stuff going on but like still dude. they definitely both need to talk abt like a lot of stuff (coughs what alden said to him in flashback coughs im not still salty youre still salty)

[caspersickfanfics]

hi (Aery here ... which is starting to sound more and more like zuko's dorky intro from atla but uhh- wow I'm off topic anyway)

You reblogging that art reminded me how absolutely feral I am for the concept and I felt the need to drop in with that information because!!!! like!!!

vulnerable cyno, irritated tighnari- and like it's so in character for nari to React that way (and they both know it. this is the guy that lectures random strangers about preparedness and stupid mistakes and where Exactly do you think you're going does that Look like the road to Sumeru-) but Cyno being in Just the right spot to take it Very Badly is just perfect???

bc like. ofc he knows, he's heard it all before (from Nari no less) but it hits Different sometimes.

im probably screaming in circles at this point but I just- really love the concept so much.

(I'm bad at remembering to send asks but please understand many of your works & concepts live rent free in my brain.)

Aghhhh RIGHT!!! Tighnari is officially The Lecture Guy lmao. Cyno is more than aware of this and honestly I imagine that sometimes Nari's consistency in that way can be comforting, but every once in while, when his head isn't in the right place, he starts to worry that he's actually crossed a line, that he's really messed up. It's times when he's worn down and unable to pick up on the nuances of Tighnari's communication. If he was actually mad, Tighnari wouldn't bother lecturing; he'd go completely silent. If he was actually mad, his ears would be pinned back on his head, not twitching, which could indicate anything from irritation to amusement. If he wasn't happy to see Cyno, he wouldn't invite him into his home at all. But sometimes Cyno just doesn't pick up on any of that.

I've also been playing with the idea of Cyno experiencing trauma-induced/dissociative age-regression which would work really well with this concept but. That's a whole other thing...

(sjkfsdfl thank you that makes me so happyyyy <333)

[traumatizeddfox]

hey! i just found ur blog and i was wondering if i could ask u some questions?

tw abuse? maybe?

recently my friends have been trying to tell me that my family(mostly my older brother) had been abusive to me based on some of the stories ive told them about how my bro used to hit me and stuff. in my head what happened was completely normal and i even joked about it. i was always told that it wasnt a big deal and that older brothers are just like that or that it was my fault for "poking the bear" and that he did it because he didnt know how to show that he loved me. i never really thought about it as weird until my friends started saying it wasn't normal? i been thinking about it and i know that siblings can be mean to each other but i feel like it crossed a line when i stopped fighting back hoping he would get bored if i never gave him a reaction. ive felt so upset with my family for a long time and god i want to leave and live by myself but thats not an option for another year or so. i know that parents screaming at their kids every day isnt normal and older brothers constantly hurting their little siblings isnt normal but i just cant stop thinking that im being overdramatic and unfair to them. i feel like im being manipulative whenever i try to tell people about it because its fine and it really was my fault. even saying that sounds really manipulative though! i dont want to give people the wrong idea and i dont know how to say this right

my family has done so much for me theyre lovely people and i know i love them so why do i keep flinching when theyre in the room and why do i feel so paranoid that someones mad at me? i just want to get away from everything

i feel so guilty i should be more grateful to them

i cant get my head around this and i honestly dont know what to think at this point so any advice you have would be greatly appreciated

sorry for the long ask and i hope ur doing well

-🌧️🌧️🌧️

for many victims we don’t even register it’s not normal because to us the abuse is normal because it’s all we know. it’s pretty common for victims to not realize they were abused until years later or until we tell someone who think it was normal

ur family can still do nice things for you but they can also still be abusive. u most likely flinch because that’s your body remembering the abuse. our body, our muscles and our nervous system can remember but our mind does not.

don’t feel guilty for feeling this way it’s normal to feel confused by abuse because it’s not always black and white either!! depending on ur age i would see if you could stay with someone else or live with friends (but i also know this isn’t always possible.)

[urfavoritedcwhore]

the russian boy//part two

warnings: alcohol usage, underage drinking, marijuana usage, and swearing

not proof read!

part two: boris’s house

after about twenty minutes of driving and answering boris's questions about new orleans, we finally turn into his driveway. i look up and notice i can see my own house, just two doors down from his. damn he does live close to me. i suddenly remember that i have to give my mom our car keys so she can go...do whatever, i honestly don't wanna know what she does during the night. "can you actually pull into that driveway,", i say pointing to my house, "it's mine and i need to give the car keys to my mom.". boris nods and backs out of his driveway, and parks into mine. "i'll just be a second.", i say grabbing the keys out of the ignition, "won't your mom be mad you skip last period new girl?", boris says looking suspiciously at me. how can i explain this to him without sounding like a whiny, trauma dumping, little kid. i'll make a joke out of it, easy and simple. "she's probably just waking up, she was pretty trashed the last..well few nights.", i say with a huge smile and small chuckle. to my suprise, he laughs at this. "ha! sounds like my dad and your mom have a lot in common, eh?", he says opening his car door, before walking around to open mine. thank God he didn't do some, "oh i'm so sorry your life is like that", speech. i laugh back, "maybe, does your dad go through a bottle of tito's every night?", i say still giggling. this makes him let out a sharp quick laugh, "HA! try two! he gets so drunk he cannot use feet!", he says holding up two fingers on his hand, then pointing to his feet. "shit yeah! my mom had to see a doctor once cause she had some weird nerve things going on in her feet from drinking.", i say thinking back to the time my mom had to go to physical therapy for a month just to learn how to use her feet again. "yes yes! my dad too. it was honestly little funny.", he says with a smirk. alright this boy is just trying to be sexy with the broken english and the accent. i don't know why but it's so fucking attractive. he holds out his hand to me, and i take it jumping out of the car. "i'll be back in like 2 minutes!", i say jogging towards my front door. i open my door and see my mom still sleeping on the couch. i go over to her and gently nudge her awake. "mom.", i whisper as she opens her eyes. i jingle the keys at her, "i'm home, the trucks all yours.", i toss the keys onto the coffee table by the couch. "thank you sweetie, was school okay?", she says in a raspy voice, rubbing her eyes and yawning. "yea yea, it was fine. i'm gonna go hangout with some kids i met, they live just down the street.", i say still whispering , so that i dont hurt her head from the killer hangover im sure she has. "ok hon, well last night i called around, and i found a job waitressing at a restaurant on the strip. im supposed to go in at 6pm for my first shift, so i should go take a shower and wake up.", she says sitting up and trying to cover the vodka bottle on the floor with a blanket, "i'll probably be gone all night, those restaurants on the strip are open 24 hours and i want the longest shift i can take, to start making some more money." i feel proud of her. im glad she found a job so fast, maybe it'll help since she won't have as much free time to drink. "good shit mom, i'm proud of you, i'll figure something out for dinner, i think we still have those microwave mac and cheeses in one of these box's.", i say hugging her and examining the boxes on the floor. she smiles at me and looks at the boxes on the ground, "we can start unpacking these boxes this weekend, ok? now go hangout with your friends lucy bug," she sniffs me as we both break away from the hug, "and don't smoke in this house ok? you smell like snoop dogg's bed room.", she's says giving me a quick smile. "i won't mom, love you!", i say turning away and walking towards the door. "love you too hon!", she calls out back to me as she walks begins walking upstairs to get in the shower. i open the front door and see boris leaning against my car smoking a cigarette.

i walk up to him and hold my fingers out as he passes it to me. i take a long drag and exhale then give it back to him. "let's go.", he says smiling and waving at me to follow as he begins walking to his house. i follow him and realize his car still isn't in his driveway.

"where's theo?", i ask as we approach his front door. "hmm, probably getting popchyk.", he says struggling to get his door open, it looks like it's been slammed too many times, and has started to jam on the door frame. what in the fuck is a "popchyk". is it like...you know what, i'm stumped, i have idea as to what that could be. i decide to voice my thoughts. "sorry but what is a "popchyk"?", i say with genuine confusion as he finally gets the door to open and leads me inside. "it is like..eh how you say,...dog? yes, it is dog.", he says, his face twisting as he tried to find the word. what kind of name is that. nevermind, im not about to question the dogs name. he takes my book bag as i walk into his house, and tosses it on the ground, before doing the same to his. his house looks bare, almost as bare as mine is. honestly his house layout looks really similar to mine, i guess this is the kind of neighborhood where the houses look just as alike on the inside as they do on the outside. he makes his way over to the fridge and opens it to expose empty shelves. well, almost empty. there's a pack of beers, two large bottles of Smirnoff vodka, and a few to-go chinese food containers. "beer or vodka new girl?", he says grabbing a beer for himself. i honestly want the vodka, but if he's drinking a beer, i will too i guess. "beers fine, thanks.", i say holding my hand out. he opens the beer bottle with his teeth, spits out the cap, and hands it to me. "impressive.", i say noding my head and looking at my open beer. "it's easy when you know how to do without chipping teeth.", he says smiling, as he takes a sip of his beer, his eyes never leaving me.

i take a sip of my beer, and jump when i hear the door slamming open letting a high pitched bark ring through the house. "go popchyk! go see your daddy!", i hear theo say call from the entrance room laughing. boris gets on his knees and in comes fly a small white dog through the kitchen directly to boris. this dog is fugly. he looks like maybe he's a maltase, but his fur is so dirty and knotted that he looks more like a tumble weed that blew in from the yard. boris scoops him up in the arm that his beer is not in, as the dog lays kisses on his cheek. "ohhh who is a good popchyk? you are good popchyk! new girl, come meet him!", boris says as he puts down his beer and rubs his head. i walk towards boris and hold out my hand for "popchyk"(still confused about that name btw) to smell. now that im closer to this dog, he's kinda cute. he's not cute in like a, "aww that puppy is so beautiful!", kind of way but more in a, "that dog is so ugly it's cute.", kind of way. popchyk smells my hand and lets me scratch his head, "he's so cute!", i say after popchyk barks at me to signal he wants more scratch's. boris laughs, "no no, popchyk is ugly, i will admit this, but he has personality! not a lot of dogs have good personality,eh?", boris says nodding at me and picking his beer back up. i laugh, "ok he's definitely not the cutest dog, but he's so funny looking that he's cute you know?",i say turning my head to the side inspecting the dog. "exactly! don't say in front of potter though, he thinks popchyk is cutest dog ever.", boris says smiling and lowering his voice as theo approaches the kitchen. i smile and make a "my lips are sealed" motion. theo reaches the kitchen and looks at our drinks, "fuck no, we're drinking heavy tonight, that physics test kicked my ass.", he says opening the fridge and pulling out a bottle of the vodka. he walks right by us and starts going up the stairs. he stops on the third step and looks back at us, "are you two coming?", he says waving the bottle at us. boris and i look at each other, put our beers down, and follow theo. we all end up on the floor of what i assume to be boris's room. his wall has a russian flag on the wall, and white Christmas lights strung all across his room. honestly my first day in Las Vegas really isn't so bad at all, these kids are pretty cool. we take turns passing the bottle around, giggling, and getting decently drunk. boris interrupts theo's drunken rambling, "i'm hungry", he says falling to his back. theo gasps, "bor food sounds so good right now.", he says laying a hand on boris's stomach and looking at him like boris is the smartest person on the planet.

we're all definitely too drunk to drive anywhere for food, and from the looks of boris's fridge the only thing he has is week old white rice. i get up and wobble for a second before i gain my balance, "i have mac and cheese!", i say slurring and holding up my index finger. the boys both shoot up so quick to their feet they almost fall backwards, which causes all of us to let out a long hysterical laugh. "follow me!", i slur, too drunk to care that i took both of their hands in mine. "popchyk come-on!", i call out to the dog who had been laying on boris's bed, he gets up and follows us down the stairs. i check to make sure the truck isn't in my driveway still, and i lead them over to my house. we stumble the whole way over drunkenly laughing, and falling more than a few times. we finally managed to make it inside the house, popchyk still following us. i take them to the living room, which is basically in the same room as my kitchen(there's no wall separating the two rooms) , and sit them down on the couch. i start digging through boxes until i find a box of mac and cheese. bingo. i'm about to close the box back up, when i see my purse that i had somehow forgotten about. i pick it up and look inside, hoping to find some loose money, but instead i find my weed pen almost completely full. i turn my head sideways. how did i forget about this? i must've just been so damn busy with the move it slipped my mind. i grab the pen out of my purse and run towards the boys. i stop in front of the couch as they sit laughing about something. they notice me standing there and look up at me, "lookey what i foundddd", i say holding up the mac and cheese in one hand and my pen in the other. "YES", theo says jumping up from the couch, as boris looks excitedly at the items in my hand. i take a hit from my pen and toss it to the boys. i start walking towards the kitchen as i hear them both laughing and coughing violently. i make the mac and cheese, at one point hearing boris say , "new girl has good weed.", which makes me giggle. when im done making the food i go to get bowls, only to realize the only silverware we have unpacked is a box of plastic spoons and knives. i laugh as i pick up the pot of mac and cheese and three spoons and walk towards the couch, "alright boys, we haven't unpacked any of the plates or bowls yet, so it looks like we're dinning family style tonight.", i say plopping down on the floor. the boys get off the couch, boris sits down next to me, and theo sits across from us. i put the pot of mac and cheese in the middle and hand them their spoons. we all sit silently stuffing our faces with the food. from what i can tell none of us have eaten today.

after we finish our food, i feel like im starting to sober up. i grab the pot from the floor and place it into the sink, before checking my phone and realizing its already 10pm. how has the time gone by so quick? we must have been in boris’s room drinking for longer than i thought we were. i head back into the living room and sit back down next to boris. “you wanna to swim?”, says theo looking at boris. boris looks at me, “if new girl comes with.”, he says smirking at me. “i don’t know, im not a good swimmer at all, and i have no idea which box my swimsuits are in.”, i say trying to think of something else we can do. “just wear bra and underwear, eh?”, boris says looking confused. i lift one eyebrow at him curiously. “not anything weird, is like…what’s the word…bikini, yes? potter and i unusually go in our underwear.”, i look at him and laugh, “that may fix the swimsuit problem, but definitely not the “i can’t swim” problem.”, i say nugding him playfully with my elbow. “i can make sure you don’t drown, i can carry you in deep end.”, he says shrugging. now i know water makes everyone lighter than they are, but im a chubby girl. i wouldn’t say im extremely big, but im definitely not a skinny girl. and this boy, this boy is so damn scrawny. don’t get me wrong, he’s sexy as fuck, but he looks like he would fall over if the wind blew strong enough. i sit and consider his offer for a moment, before he stands up and grabs my hand, “it will be fun, promise.”, he says pulling me up and motioning for theo to stand up. “let’s go, we’ll use my pool.”, boris says leading me out the door. shit ok i guess we’re doing this. “i’m definitely gonna need another drink before i get in that pool.”, theo says as he catches up with us. “i second that.”, i say looking at theo as boris walks up to his driveway, my hand still in his. theo stops for a second, “shit.”, he says before turning to jog back to my house. “what’s he doing?”, i ask boris, but before he can answer we both see theo jogging back out of my house, popchyk in hand. boris and i laugh at the sight of theo out of breath and popchyks ears bouncing up and down as theo carries him. we wait for theo at the door, and go inside when he catches up with us. “i’ll go get drink.”, boris says walking upstairs to his bedroom. theo looks at me, “i promise he’s not trying to be a perv, the first time i met him he made me strip to my tighty Whiteys to go swim. he just really likes the water, i don’t know why.”, theo says beginning to take off his shirt. boris comes back down stairs and waves the bottle at theo and me, “who wants first?”, he says looking at us. i grab the bottle out of his hands and take about 3 shots out of it. as my throat burns and my eyes tear, i hand the bottle to theo, who’s looking at me with large eyes. “ok new girl, you can handle your liquor!”, theo says taking the bottle. like mother like daughter i guess. before i pussy out, i take off my shirt and kick off my leggings. the boys look at me for a split second with awe before removing their clothes, leaving only their boxers. “lets go”, theo says grabbing me by my hand. i grab boris’s hand so that we’re all connected in a drunken line, running towards the open back door. boris, who grabbed the vodka back from theo after theo took his few shots, is chugging it like its water. we make it outside and theo disconnects from my hand, and jumps into the pool, leaving me a boris and me still holding hands. boris looks over at me, “you want?”, he says shaking the vodka bottle. i nod and hold out my free hand for it. “open”, he says using his index finger on his free hand to tap my lips, without thinking, i open my mouth and feel vodka running down my throat. he stops pouring for a second, but continues to when i make a “more” gesture with my hand. when he’s done i look up at him, my cheeks burning red. is it from the alcohol or how fucking sexy that was.

i honestly think a little bit of both. he smiles at me and rubs the vodka running down my chin with his thumb, before licking it so nonchalantly that im not even sure he knows the moves he’s making right now. if i was a betting girl, i’d bet he knows exactly what he’s doing right now. and trust me when i say, two can play that game…

end of part 2, part 3 coming soon!

[badlydrawndoc-scratch]

don't really have time or energy to draw this right now so. you're getting it in writing instead

It's not your birthday. At best, you would call it a day that someone who was you once was familiar with.

One that he didn't like either. Sure, you'd pretend to be him for a bit, accept some birthday wishes for him. But it wasn't your birthday. Not to you, at least. You think they all understand, to a point. Dirk does, at least.

That was why you weren't prepared to humour this conversation.

TG: this is hal isnt it

TG: not mad jst

TG: how do i say this?

TT: It seems there's a fairly large chance you're accusing me of not being myself, based off of a totally bullshit statistic.

TT: Care to elaborate?

TG: if u want me to tell u happy birthday 2 i can lmao

TG: dont hafta be weird about impersonatin dirk for that!!!

TT: I...

TT: Sorry. Holdon.

TT: There we go.

TT: As I was about to say, it's not technically my birthday. It's Dirk's. I wasn't even created today.

TT: I'll relay your well-wishes to him whenever he returns. Don't need to ask me about it.

TG: hmm nah i think i like havin' a hold of u for this

TG: if ur like

TG: not REALLY him

TG: but have his memories and shit

TG: todays ur day too

TG: so happy b-day! im not takin' that back either!

TT: ...

TT: I should go.

TT: Dirk probably won't like me monopolizing his account, even if he isn't here.

TT: Thanks, I guess.

You log off without another word, back in your sort-of space. Maybe you'll check in with Jane in a bit. Maybe you'll go through the internet for no apparent reason.

You can't say that that made you feel human. Or that it made you feel better, but... it made you think. It made you feel something. That was a start, right?

---

A firm series of slaps to the back of the cue-ball/head drags you out of your reverie. It's Itchy, hand poised to continue slapping you if you don't acknowledge him.

"Apologies. I must have became lost in thought," you begin, "as tends to happen with the omniscient. That said, there are better ways to get my attention."

Itchy shrugs and tells you he doesn't give a shit. He was just the fastest. The Felt needs you for somethin'. Somethin' he can't tell you about.

"Vague and somewhat sarcastic as always, Itchy. Just get to the point."

He just tells you you're no fun, before half dragging you out of one of your many studies. The whole manor is technically your study. But especially this one.

Itchy only bothers to take you about halfway, to where Crowbar is standing and waiting. He hardly says goodbye before dashing off to who-knows-where, probably to cause trouble somewhere else.

You pretend you don't know what's being hidden from you. You could figure out, and in the back of your mind you have figured out. But surprise is an emotion you like trying to fake.

Sometimes you wish you weren't faking it.

Crowbar walks up to you, with some off-handed comment about how he didn't expect Itchy to get you there on time. Or at all. He can never tell. Nonetheless, he's slightly more gentle when he offers you his hand, like he's not about to effectively drag you across an entire manor.

You don't remember the last time you've had actual contact with someone in a way that wasn't violent. You're not sure it's ever happened, honestly. (In reality, you know that isn't true. You were an indigoblood once, you recall. It's not as clear as the other memories, though.)

Crowbar's hand is felted, unsurprisingly, almost like a pool table. Again. Unsurprising. It's never surprising, but you commit the texture to memory anyway, all but ignoring what he's actually talking about. Something about a celebration.

He says they got the table stickball table fixed, and your attention is drawn again.

"Just call it a pool table."

He says he doesn't feel like it. It's a ball you hit with a stick on a table. Ain't a pool in sight. You agree, silently. The Alternian names for things were as foreign as they were ingrained; you knew them as much as you didn't know them.

Eventually, you're led into what you believe is the living room, and Crowbar lets go of your hand. You don't immediately adjust to the lack of feeling in your hand, almost like you were... severely touch-starved, actually, or something.

That's ridiculous, of course. You aren't technically alive, even if you're not as "soon to die" as you once were.

Someone, you think it could be Quarters, explains that all the Felt knows it isn't technically your birthday, and that it's only such by a few tangents. (You mentally add on that you weren't even created today).

But, Quarters adds, you've been stuck in a rut of sorts for a while. It wasn't really anyone's idea, he says. But it was agreed that it might get you feeling better for a while.

And, for once, you feel surprise. You never thought that they actually cared. Or even noticed. You're just their boss, of course. You're hardly even there.

(You have spent the past few months only leaving the Manor when you absolutely have to.)

You can't say it makes you feel alive. Or better, really. But it made you think. It made you feel something.

And, as you're dragged to play table stickball with Trace and Sawbuck, you decide that's a start.

[judithan-xing]

i feel like if i ever released my notes for CADAVER ppl would really realize how fucking unhinged i was writing that whole thing like. its actually buck wild. Honestly i'll go ahead and post it for funsies cuz I think getting to see the ideas n stuff behind ppl's work is cool, so someone out there will probably appreciate this.

some fun behind the scenes notes about it under the read more if you're interested in a mad man's ranting

my notes about what aspects of Vincent/Cid should stay the same and what parts i felt were fine to mess with.

originally i was gonna lean WAY more into Vincent being a traditional vampire rather than a horrible amalgamation of man and demon, to the point he would just straight up be hunting n whatever. I scrapped that in favor of just making him mostly immortal and can eat/drink regular stuff for fun but wants to feed off of Cid cuz bloodlust and also regular lust

i literally kept rewriting the Vague Overarching plot of Cadaver and then randomly, in the middle of the document put 'Vampire Vincent x Hunter Cid' as if this would fucking mean ANYTHING to me later. I think I was literally half asleep when i put that in. It's hilarious. I don't know why it's there or that far down. Also this was me trying to decide how close to Red Snow I wanted it to be, and originally it was gonna be Pretty Fuckin Close but I scrapped that.

hilarious that "THINGS FOR SURE" first plot point wasnt even fuckin used lmao. Also originally Vin was gonna be turned into a vampire AND THEN had chaos implanted, rather than chaos being the thing to turn him. wack. I dont even remember writing that.

i need yall to know i saw a fucking dragon outfit for fli/ght ri/sing that literally permanently altered the course of Cadaver. I'm not kidding. Someone had a cool dragon outfit preset thing for a deadzone investigator and it inspired me so much I changed Cid's profession to that. Seriously.

im so mad i wasn't able to use that stellar fucking line i cooked up at the bottom, but yall get to see it now. but yeah originally the presentation was gonna Actually Be A Presentation and then i realized 'i dont want to fucking write that, that's boring as shit' so I didn't. also i ended up making rufus way more hands-off cuz i just. dont know his character that well and didnt want to start in the middle of a huge plotfic thats not about him

these are dead ass all my notes for Cadaver. like. that's it. no chapter by chapter set up or plan or anything like that. I literally wrote about 2000 words of rambling notes, went 'yeah thats good enough' and ripped out a 63k word fic in like 3 weeks. i dont know. i dont know. its crazy.

[stevie-petey]

oh my god OH MY GOD IM SO HAPPY TO WAKE UP TO CHAPTER FOUR YOU HAVE NO IDEAAAA

okay insights, i love dustin & bug soooo much like they're literally the cutest siblings everrrr, makes me wish i had a younger cutesy brother.

and can i just say i KNEW that mrs. waters was connected to mrs. driscoll??? like my GUT SAID IT. at first i thought omg what if mrs. waters is that old lady then i remembered noooo the name was different but i immediately thought that they're connected in some way and I WAS RIGHT

dude, the scene where bug is sitting on steve's lap ??? -$(1)#+8292(2(2(+22 i LOST IT LIKE HOLY SHIT

(i will not be complaining anymore about why they're being idiots because i understand and love them and im lowkey loving the slow burn) and we're getting cloooose to chapter 6 so that's lovely, the wait is almost over :D

the fight with nance? INSANE. i genuinely never thought nancy could be mad a bug but cmon it's nancy, her anger is always on her nose annnnd absolutely get where she's coming from i mean but poor bug :( baby's just trying to be there for everyone but everything keeps going wrong.

i love erica & bug. im pretty sure she'll start sticking close to bug now that all of this is happening, can't wait to see that development

and my baby robin is down BADDDDD. it's okay, robin we GET IT.

"Hendersons with Harrington" SO FUCKIN ADORABLE ISTGGGGG

also did bug faint at the end? or is she having a panic attack, a bit confused lmao

and lastly, i was thinking about come home yesterday and how everything might take place and season 3, im excited to know what's up BUT season 4 is going to be so JUICYYYY. with the byers moving, the kids getting so big. what's gonna be bug's college scene. AND HER RELATIONSHIP WITH EDDIE I AM SO FUCKIN EXCITED TO SEE THATTTTT

okay now i take your leave, thanks for feeding us, m. love you <3

dustin n bug <333 theyre the best siblings i ADORE THEM !!! and as for mrs waters u were right 🤭🤭 she honestly has no real weight besides being bugs boss and knowing mrs driscoll, but i thought itd be a cool tie in and im happy you loved that lil detail ;)

CHAPTER 6 WILL BE YALLS FAVORITE I PROMISE !!!!! GIMME TIME

nancy :( i love her character but yeaaaah shes always been very defensive and prideful (and a girlboss but still) and it was just all her stress piling up. hearing your bfs bff knows more than you do about his feelings ??? guy wrenching and id throw up tbh. bug is stronger than me

and bug didnt faint its the elevator scene !! where they all just fall down the elevator shaft into doom lmao.

season 4 will be a beast and you pointed out some things i cant touch on rn for spoilers but ‼️‼️ beware ‼️‼️